Warrior Cats- Warrior Confessions Show!
by RashpawWrites
Summary: A show where the warrior cats confess! Hosted by Rashpaw and Chip
1. Season 1 Episode 1

Rashpaw: HellO there, fellow warriors! I'm Rashpaw, you're wonderful host!

Chip: Ahem, I'm Chip, you're super amazing host.

Rashpaw: Well I'm better?

Chip: No you're not?

Rashpaw: Shut up you're not even a warrior you loner

Chip: Yeah well

Cobrastar: (from behind the sets) OOOOOKAY

Rashpaw: Oh yeaaaaah. (Grins at camera) Ok so today, we are going to ask our fellow Mary sue-eh, I mean, mainstream warrior cats about how they REALLY feel.

Chip: First off, Crookedstar!

Crookedstar: (Floats in from StarClan) Umn..

Chip: Crookedstar, how do you feel when cats stare at your jaw-

Crookedstar: Uh I feel awkward, and-

Rashpaw: Crookedstar, listen to me. Remember when, like, you got chosen to go on that petty border patrol, to invade Sunningrocks?

Crookedstar: (Puffs up) Yeah, I sure rocked-

Rashpaw: And your mother was a puss face to you, right?

Crookedstar: Yeah, but not anymore-

Rashpaw: And you were all, I'll mark Sunningrocks with the honor of every cat or somthing majestic like that?

Crookedstar: Yeah...

Rashpaw: But when you "mark your territory" you actually PEE, right

Chip: Ummn

Crookedstar: Yeaaaah...

Rashpaw: So you were saying, I'l PEE with the honor of my clanmates?!

Crookedstar: (Pokerface)

Chip: Dude.

Corbrastar: (Backstage) Uh...NEXT!

Chip: (Shoves Crookedstar out)

Rashpaw: Next is.. (makes disgusted face) Chip, you say it.

Chip: Ew no, I hate her!

(They argue, then Corbrastar yells, NEXT, MILLIE!)

Millie strides in

Millie: Hello, dears! (Purrs)

Rashpaw: (disgusted) Hi, Millie.

Chip: Oookey, so Millie. Tell us. WHY did you (leans in close) abondon you kits?

Millie: (Shocked) I did NOT abandon my KITS! They are my PRECIOUS treasures! Me and Greystripes!

Rashpaw: *cough*Cuz you raped him*cough*

Chip: She means...you, taped him?

Millie:Wha

Chip: Ok, so, you know, YOU forced Blossomfall to go to the Dark Forest

Millie: No...

Chip: Uh, yeah?

Millie: Yeah, but...she ditch them though?

Rashpaw: Yeah, but she still hates you no one likes you you're just a stupid little loser kittypet. Heck FIRESTAR is cooler than you.

Millie: Whatever! I had enough! (Starts to walk out)

Rashpaw: NEXT!

Silverstream: Hello young'uns, I'm please to meet- (sees Millie)

Millie: Oh, it's you.

Silverstream: Yes, and luckily, I don't let my children become allies with Tigerstar?

Rashpaw: Ok so how do you really feel about Millie:

Silverstream: (Leaps on Millie and they start fighting)

Greystripe: (Walks in) Oh hey I- lordy what's goin on

Millie: GREYSTRIPE! Tell me, who do you like best me or her?

Greystripe: Ummmmn

Millie: TELL ME OR I WILL KILL YOU BY RIPPING OFF YOUR FAT FACE

Silverstream: I won't

Greystripe: OH look, it's time to go bye I see Blackstar calling me? (Runs off)

Millie and Silverstream: (Chases Greystripe) Hey! Tell us!

Rashpaw: What a lovely threesome

**Next chapter for next show!~Cobrastar**


	2. Season 1 Episode 2

Rashpaw: Hello my dears, to the SECOND EPISODE OF **WARRIORS CONFESSION SHOW!**

Chip: I'm surprised we got this far.

Rashpaw: Don't doubt my awesomeness. Who would cancel this show? It's gorgeous hahahahhahahahahahahaaaaaaaa aaaaaaa

Chip: Okeyyyy our show for today will have a VERY special quest star...

Rashpaw: Who can here because of the lovely request by Pumpkinfur,

Chip: TAIGASTARRRRRR

Tigerstar: (Swags in) My name's TIGERSTAR. Child do not use this foolish _slang_ on my beautiful name please.

Chip: O-okay

Rashpaw: Ok so um, our question, sent by the lovely Pumpkinfur, is..._who do you like better, Goldenflower or Sasha?_

Tigerstar: Ew, neither ok.

Rashpaw: C'mon, you HAD to at least LIKED ONE of them, I mean, like, you had kits with them and all

Tigerstar: I was high on catnip.

Chip: You play with _catnip?_

Tigerstar: No, I meant...I wasn't thinking staight...Bluestar's death really...shocked me..umn

Rashpaw: Lies. C'mon, at least play for the camera. Just choose one! They won't come hurling at you, I promise, they won't. After Greystripe's interview, we made sure to lock and add security to the doors. Not you need it, but we do...better safe then sorry? (Shrinks away from Tigerstar's glare)

Tigerstar: Well.

Chip: Just do eeny meeny miney moe ok gosh we have others to interview too you're not the one and only ok?

Tigerstar: Fine. Goldenflower then gosh you happy now?

Rashpaw: Why?

Tigerstar: Because...

Rashpaw: Why

Chip: WHY

Rashpaw: Why

Chip: WHY

Rashpaw: Why

Chip: WHY

Rashpaw: Why

Chip: WHY

Rashpaw: Why

Chip: WHY

Rashpaw: Why

Chip: WHY

Rashpaw: Why

Chip: WHY

Tigerstar: BECAUSE SHE WAS CLANBORN OK UNLIKE SASHA WHO WAS A FAT KITTYPET TRYING TO BE COOL LIKE ME SHE'S A WANNABE BUT THEN SHE'S ALL LIKE, OH NO TIGERSTAR, I DON'T WANT TO JOIN YOUR CLAN, AND I'M LIKE, WHY I'M HOT, AND SHE'S LIKE, NO CUZ UR EVIL AND I'M LIKE, NOT EVIL, JSUT GANGSTA, BUT SHE'S ALL "WHATEVER IM LEAVING YOU WITH AND BTW I PREGNANT NOT FAT AND I WILL GO AWAY FOR A LONGISH TIME JUST TO TRY TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD?BUT THEN I PLAN ON GIVING MY KITS TO RIVAHCLAN HOW DO YOU FELL ABOUT THAT"

Rashpaw: Burn, Sasha

Chip: Okey...this went off track.

Rashpaw: You know that Lepardstar liked you too?

Tigerstar: Oh.

Chip: Ok,,,,next question...Who do you like better,

Tigerstar: NO

Chip: Brambleclaw or Hawkfrost

Tigerstar: NO

Rashpaw: Personally, Hawkfrost is more cute, but...

Tigerstar: Hawkfrost

Chip: Why is that?

Tigerstar: Because he's EVIL like me? And he gets all the ladies and fanart too, no one cares about Brambleclaw and his stupid mate Squirrelflight

Chip: Actually, they get fanart too...

Rashpaw: And Scourge actually gets all the ladies.

**Meanwhile, at the lake**

Hawkfrost: WHOOOHOOOOO IN YO FACE, BRAMLEBUTT! DADDY LIKES ME MOAAAAARRRRR

Brambleclaw: SHUT UP OK IT'S BEEN A BAD DAY

**Back at the studio...**

Chip:Ok thanks, Tigerstar for coming here on Warriors Confession Show.

Tigerstar: Whatever kid.

Sasha: (Storms in) EXCUSE MEEEEE, BUT WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?

Tigerstar: (Sceams like freaking little girl) I THOUGHT YOU SAID THE DOORS WERE LOCKED

Rashpaw: Yeah, but I thought you didn't need them, being so tough, so I unlocked them...(Awkward shrugs)

Tigerstar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!11!1

Chip: And that concludes this day's show, folks!


	3. Season 1 Episode 3

Rashpaw: Hello again! My fellow warriors and loners and kittypets and twolegs! (winks) to another , yes we mean another, as in this show didn't get ransacked and banned for the foul play of our guest stars, show of **Warrior Cats Confession Show**! Also know as War-cats Spill All All, or WCCS because acronyms are cool.

Chip: That was an unnecessarily long intro. But BTW we should totes nick name this War-cats, as the cats do tend to get violent here...

Rashpaw: (Butt bumps Chips away) Today, we have many quest stars planned to come...as suggested from Hawkclaw, aka Ilikedragons!

Chip: Lets see what the first question says..Hawkfrost: Did you ever like a she-cat? Or were you forever alone?

Rashpaw: Let's give it up for HAWKFROST!

Hawkfrost: Heyeyeye! What is UP?!

Rashpaw: The SKY.

Hawkfrost: LAmEOOO

Chip: Ahem Ahemm. So, Hawkfrost, did you ever like a she-cat? Or were you a loner?

Hawkfrost: I like many she-cats!

Rashpaw: Whom?

Hawkfrost: My mommy and my sister Mothwing! :

Chip: I don't think you understand this...like, as in love, as in NOT YOUR MOMMY OR SISTER OMG

Hawkfrost: Well... now that you mention it...

(Everyone leans in)

Hawkfrost: I always had a soft spot for Berrytail

Rashpaw: He's a TOMCAT!

Hawkfrost: Really?! But Berry is such a she-cat name! And his voice was always so high pitched...and he was always complaining about his fur... are you SURE?

Rashpaw: Last time I check.

(Everyone stares at Rashpaw)

Rashpaw: Whuhu-uhu-uhuh hha-ha, just kidding haha, NEXT! THANK-YOU-HAWKFROST-FOR-COMING-IT-WAS-NICE-NOW-LET 'S-WELCOME-MOTHWING-AND-CLOUDTAIL-NOW

(Hawkfrost awkwardly exits, and Mothwing and Cloudtail come in.)

Mothwing: Hello!

Cloudtail: Ooh, a camera! The twolegs used to use it and take picture of me, because I'm so pretty!

Chip: (sighs) Alright, Mothwing and Cloudtail, do you guys believe in StarClan and the Dark Forest now, because they DID appear in the Big Battle between The Dark Forest.

Rashpaw: Yeah, c'mon Cloudtail, you totally got ingured by one, remember? Dovewing was there?

Cloudtail: Ugh, I SAW them, so I know they are real, but I don't want to worship them and pray to them whenever I catch prey, because that's so time consuming...

Rashpaw: Uh, rude.

Chip: And you, Mothwing?

Mothwing: I agree with Cloudtail, and I would like to point out that dead cats can't die again, and that is stupid. What's the point of being DEAD if you could die AGAIN and be NOTHING?

Rashpaw: One of life's greatest questions.

Chip: Well, Spottedleaf had it coming, though, although she did make a pretty good dramatic exit.

Rashpaw: Yes...for our last quest star, the much loved hyper-sensitive Dovewing!

Dovewing: Hello! It's such a honor to be here! Just listen and smell that equipment...

Chip: Uh, so. The question is..Dovewing, Bumblestripe or Tigerheart?

Dovewing: (sigh) Only the most overrated question ever. Bumblestripe, because he's a clanmate, and I stick to the Warrior Code adn...

Rashpaw: LIES! Come ON, Dovewing, it's a CONFESSION SHOW, and we all know you're lying.

Dovewing: (Takes a deep breath.) Alright. Tigerheart because he's way mcuh better looking, and he's not all up my face like Bumblestripe, you have no idea how annoying he gets it's like, UGH! Also Tigerheart is way much stronger, and his Mom isn't like Millie, who is like, so annoying, I wouldn't want my mother-in-law to be this little stupid idiot who goes all like, EW I THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME and yeah, even though Dawnpelt is a loser, at least it's better than a stupid cat that went to the dark side and like...

Rashpaw: Uh..I think ti's time to end this show...

Bumblestripe: Really Dovepaw? All that time and you HATE me? Great, I thought you were better than that (rambles on and on)

Dawnpelt: I am NOT a LOSER!

Millie: STOP HATING ME I AM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE OK

Tigerheart: Well. I don't blame you, I AM rather good looking heeheh let's go hunting at sundown? (Flashes grin)

Bumblestripe: HISSSSS

(Bumblestripe jumps on TIgerheart and they fight)

Millie: NUH-UH! NOBODY AIN'T GONNA TOUCH MY BABY BOY LIKE DAT!

(Millie jumps in and fights Tigerheart)

Dawnpelt: NO BEOTCH BACK OFF MY BRO (Hisses and kicks Millie)

Dovepaw: (Trollface)

Chip: Wow you are a player.

Cobrastar: (From backstage) UH, SCENE! STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE OR WARRIOR CATS CONFESSION SHOW!

Rashpaw: ALSO KNOWN AS WAR-CATS!


End file.
